The Quality of Forgiveness

Matthew 18:15-35

January 20, 1991 pm

"Confession," properly done, may be "good for the soul," but genuine confession of guilt or sin is never simple or easy. Have you ever made a restitution? Did you ever feel the need for finding someone's forgiveness? I have!

When I was a teenager, and a Christian, I had a confrontation with Mr. Duerr, a Swiss gentleman who was an old friend of my wife-to-be's family. I was very rude with him, thinking he was being too familiar with my girlfriend; as a matter of fact in my 18-year-old chutzpah I offered to punch him in the nose even though he was old enough to be my father.

Later — six or seven year later— I was a young pastor and had never forgotten the rudeness — I dropped into Mr. Duerr's typewriter store on Main St in downtown Akron. I had business with him; actually bought a portable —no maybe an old upright Underwood or something, I honestly don't remember. But that day I asked him if he remembered the incident years before, and he immediately became very serious, came around the counter— said that yes, he did remember, and had been pretty shocked because I had a reputation as a Christian and that seemed out of character (which it was; although in retrospect I believe I was coming off a fever and a bout with leg infection so was probably less inhibited because of medication; I can't imagine how I would have been rude otherwise— it wasn't the way I was brought up.) I told him I was sorry that it had NOT been a Christian thing to do, and would he forgive me.

He did, and then he began to talk about his own spiritual journey as a "backslider" and we parted with peace and a measure of understanding. I had done a difficult job of "making restitution" that cleared up a spot in my prayer life and helped me to be "void of offense toward God and man"

I. WE ALL FACE THE FACT OF FRICTION IN INTER-PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

  1. We can (1) deny ever hurting others; or, we can (2) claim never to have hurt feelings ourselves. But the fact remains that misunderstandings do come. We need to make certain that our consciences are clear. We may never clear the air to feel "at ease" with everyone— but we can exercise ourselves to keep a conscience void of offense toward God and toward fellow human beings (Acts 26:18).
  2. Where we may keenly feel our need for resolving these problems is when we come to the quiet time— the place of prayer. We cannot pray as we ought if there are unresolved bruises on our conscience (either way— on "us" or on "them.")
  3. When we recognize that there ARE and there WILL BE times when friction and misunderstanding come, then we can seek and find God's help in restoring full communication and re-establishing fellowship.

    The abiding Presence of the Holy Spirit will go a long way toward minimizing hurt feelings— avoiding letting them fester. But even God's sanctified people need God's grace to forgive and be forgiven.

II. THE PRINCIPLE OF FORGIVENESS IS GOD'S WAY OF HANDLING FRICTION

  1. Do we realize all the implications of what it means to forgive? [Look at vv 24, 27 a man owes a staggering sum of money- - many $Millions— and his Lord simply TOOK THE LOSS BECAUSE OF COMPASSION. The Lord did NOT pretend it was not a huge sum, or that it never happened.] Forgiveness is not saying: "Oh, It's all right!"
  2. This is the way that God intends us, asks us, helps us to forgive each other. We are not to fester ill will, but to say, "I forgive!"

III. GOD'S GRACE FLOWS OR IS IMPEDED AS WE EMPLOY THIS PRINCIPLE

  1. Lord's Prayer: We are forgiven AS WE FORGIVE!
  2. There is also a direct connection of having a clear conscience with a prayer life that "prevails." Following verse 18 the power of prayer FOLLOWS on the ATTEMPT to restore full fellowship. (Also Matthew 5:24 "Leave thy gift at the altar and be reconciled to thy brother. . . . ")
  3. Making peace, or even seeking to make peace with others may well be the means of opened channels of God's grace to their hearts (as Walter Duerr).

CONCLUSION:

How are you handling the frictions and the dis-harmonies of life and living? I am not an alarmist— but uncertainties of our times dictate to me that I need to keep short accounts— make certain that my conscience is clear!

  1. IS your conscience clear before God? Have you confessed your sins— and your SINFULNESS to HIM? Thank the Lord, that is the beginning!
  2. Is your conscience clear before your brothers and your sisters? This does not mean that it is easy. It does not even mean that you can patch things up, humanly speaking. [I prayed for a policeman every day for years because I did not want to HATE him. And I don't believe I did, and I don't!]
  3. Bertha Munro said two things about forgiveness:
    1. CHRISTIANS CAN AFFORD TO FORGIVE! She meant that since we have been forgiven so very much, we can forgive others, too.
    2. CHRISTIANS CANNOT AFFORD NOT TO FORGIVE! In a hundred years— in a hundred days— what will it matter?

    WALTER DUERR .. later..sought God's forgiveness; found grace to forgive his enemy.. was restored and lived a number of years in a faithful witness with his life. Paul said: Acts 24:16 Herein do I exercise myself to have always a conscience void of offense toward God and toward man."

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